Decisions

Today is the day, anatomy scan day! Usually these scans are happy times for pregnant mamas. They get a good look at their baby, count all ten toes and all ten fingers. Listen to the heartbeat, find out the gender if they haven’t already. It’s usually a joyous time. I should know, I was so happy during this scan with Maverick.
But these anatomy scans are not for those reasons. Anatomy scans are there to look for problems. These scans are looking for everything that’s wrong with the baby. Hopefully nothing is wrong, many times these scans end with very happy and relieved parents.
Sitting in the waiting room with Jim, I didn’t feel uneasy or worried. I kept praying for a miracle. “Everything will be fine, she is going to be normal”. The tech called us back, she had done the other two scans with this pregnancy as well, so she was familiar with the case. The scan was such a happy time. The tech really made it seem like nothing was wrong. She went over her organs, her arms and legs. Confirmed she was in fact a girl. Laughed because she was being stubborn for a couple shots. I could see the small and curved bones on the ultrasound though. But I really loved that the tech made the scan feel so normal. Once the scan was over, we waited for the doctor.
Our maternal fetal medicine doctor walked in. (She was the doctor who told us about the short legs), I was relieved knowing she also was familiar with the case. She was very pleasant and told us that she found a few things. She had me lay back down, and did a quick ultrasound so she can show us what she was talking about. She started off with the arms, showing us just how bowed and short the long bones were. She measured them, and they measured about 6 weeks behind. She then showed us her hands, and how there was no clear defined wrists. She moved to the legs, and again showed us how short and bowed the long bones were. They were also measuring about 5-6 weeks behind. She showed us how there were no clear defined ankles either. She then showed us the chest cavity and how small the ribs were, and how they were bell shaped. She said the short arms and legs are not necessarily the issue, but the chest cavity. She compared the chest size to the abdomen. The abdomen was noticeably bigger than the chest. I knew that was not a good thing. Waverly’s organs were all measuring perfect, and unfortunately the rib cage would inhibit the heart and lungs at some point. Lastly, she showed us Waverly’s head. She said depending on the view, her head was abnormally shaped. Her forehead was protruding, or as she called it, a bossing forehead. And her skull was oval shaped.
I didn’t shed a tear, I was really listening to everything she was telling us. We had the last four weeks to really prepare us for this scan. She then said based off of this ultrasound she can confirm that the baby has lethal skeletal dysplasia. She then, very compassionately, told us about the options. We can terminate or we can continue the pregnancy and let things go as naturally as possible. I have already done my research and knew I wanted to continue the pregnancy. Who are we to decide whe to end our baby’s life? Jim knew this is what I wanted, and he was hesitant at first (thinking of all that could go wrong with me), but we ultimately decided to continue the pregnancy. Our doctor assured us that the baby has no idea that anything is wrong with her, and that she is quite comfortable. She said they have a great palliative team there and as the pregnancy progressed we would be meeting with some of the specialists to discuss our plans. She said this pregnancy would be as positive of an experience as it can be. She said she fully supports our decision as long as we were aware of the outcomes. She told us that it would be possible that at one of my regular OB appointments, we would not hear a heartbeat. All of this, I was well aware of. Of course this decision would not be easy, it would be faced with sadness but also happy times.